Sitting With Your Feelings

Sitting With Your Feelings Has Consequences

“Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and He knows everything” (1 John 3:18-20, NLT).

These verses remind us of a profound truth: God is greater than our feelings. But when we sit with our unresolved emotions—especially unforgiveness—for too long, the consequences can be destructive.

The Danger of Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness is like planting a seed that grows into bitterness. Holding onto a grudge or refusing to address an offense doesn’t resolve the hurt—it deepens it. And let’s face it, we’ve all been there. Someone hurt or misunderstood us, and instead of dealing with the feelings, we suppress them. We say things like, “I’m fine. It’s whatever,” while our hearts quietly ache.

Mark Twain once joked, “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” It’s funny but true. Denial might feel like a quick fix, but it’s a temporary bandage for deep, long-term pain. It doesn’t heal; it delays.

The First Step to Healing: Acknowledgment

Acknowledging our hurt is a crucial first step. It requires us to be honest about what happened and how it affected us. Too often, we excuse or minimize our feelings to avoid conflict or appear “strong.” But when we refuse to name the offense, we hinder the healing process.

Think of it this way: if a doctor prescribed medicine without understanding the symptoms, how could they treat the illness? Similarly, if we don’t confront the root of our pain, forgiveness and healing will feel out of reach.

Denial Isn’t the Answer

For years, I walked in denial about unresolved anger. I told myself things like, “I’m fine. It’s no big deal.” My body language screamed indifference, but inside, I was far from okay. It wasn’t until I did some serious soul-searching and prayer that I realized just how long I had been carrying bitterness.

Denial may feel like a safe place, but it’s a prison. It keeps us from addressing the real issue and leaves us stuck in emotional limbo.

God’s Perspective on Forgiveness

Unforgiveness doesn’t just damage our relationships; it affects our connection with God. “We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

When we harbor unforgiveness, our hearts grow rebellious, making it harder to hear from God or walk in obedience. Forgiveness, on the other hand, restores our fellowship with Him.

Moving Toward Forgiveness

Acknowledging anger or hurt can feel overwhelming, especially if the offense was significant. But being angry isn’t the issue—it’s what we do with that anger. Left unchecked, anger morphs into bitterness, which can poison not only our hearts but also our relationships.

Here are a few steps to break free:

        1.        Recognize and Name the Hurt

Be specific about what hurt you and why. This clarity is essential for healing.

        2.        Surrender the Pain to God

Pray and release the offense to Him. Trust that God’s justice and healing are greater than your anger.

        3.        Choose Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not about excusing the offense but freeing yourself from its grip.

        4.        Stay in Fellowship with God

Regular prayer and reflection will help you guard your heart and prevent bitterness from taking root again.

A Final Thought

Sitting with your feelings without addressing them has consequences. Unforgiveness breeds bitterness, and bitterness separates us from God and others. But through Christ, we have the power to overcome.

“Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and He knows everything” (1 John 3:20).

God knows your pain. He invites you to acknowledge it, release it, and trust Him to heal it. Let today be the day you stop sitting with those unresolved feelings and start moving toward the freedom and peace that only forgiveness can bring.

Trust Him. He’s waiting to help you take the first step.

Be blessed,

Dee Davis